April Showers
Wave 794
Sunday
The 2nd of April, 2006 at 10:34 PM
These Minnesotan skies have been painted with clouds, throwing down rain and keeping the air cold. No more a reflection of April than of my weekend. I lied when I said I didn't know why I ran. The same reason any other time, thoughts full of worry as I float down the trails.
*Painful exhale*
I've been ignored all weekend. Either I've been ignored or just forgotten. Hopefully forgotten and lost than ignored; because if I've been misplaced, I can be found again. I worry about the people I worry about the most. You know that sounds dumb, it really does, but it's true. Especially when I feel like the people I worry about the most, don't worry about me at all.
Everyone needs to have someone worrying about them right?
You can kindof feel when a person is confident, at least I can. You know when they are on solid ground and far away from any cliff. Then there are ones who are flying toward it with no brakes and you're standing in front of them yelling, "STOP!" "NO". Putting yourself between them and danger, just trying, trying to keep them from falling off.
God, I feel like I just can't help them anymore. I feel... inadequate, incapable, weak. And this worry is just driving my energy into the ground. God if you could only help me, help them.
Why does love have to be so hard?
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Comments
Nik
April 3rd, 10:44:25 AM
No... everyone does not need someone worrying about them.
Matthew 6:25-34 —“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”,” And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Basically, John... God is telling you “I got this, let me do it” and you need to let it all go to Him, because you alone cannot do anything. Worrying is separating yourself from God and saying “I don’t think He can handle this, so I better take over”. Believe me, He can handle much more than all of us put together. There is a difference between caring and worrying. By caring you are there to love as unconditionally as humans can and yet still hold someone accountable for their actions. Not to judge them or waste your life away worrying about whether God can take care of them or not.
John
April 3rd, 11:59:55 AM
You are right. Thank you.
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