Cold

A ripple for every moment

Frigid sky scattered here and there. Shadows watch mountains who are not easily scared. Snowflakes fall as time stands still, while sun's warmth trembles under the treacherous chill. Depths run thin as the ice grows, and blue meets white in the blue shallow. Everything covered perfectly in a blanket, one that is cold and doesn't need to fake it.

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This journal entry has been tagged with:

• Mona Lisa Smile
• Words
• Poetry
• Robert Frost
• Friendship
• Affair
• Grandma
• Switchfoot
• Lyrics

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I am going to load you with quotes tonight. This has been a long week. A sad week, a disappointing week, a tearful week.

I just finished watching a movie, Mona Lisa Smile. I watched it a long time ago because Julia Stiles was in it. But it is a good movie, a movie that brings tears to my eyes everytime I watch it... It is a movie about growth. Growing into the person you are meant to be. It is a perfect illustration how miscommunication can lead to heart-break, misfortune, and pain. You need to find happiness, not create it. When you wake up in the morning, can you smile?

There was a man named Rubin Carter, they called him the Hurricane. He was a black boxer. He was unfairly convicted of murdering three whites in 1966. While in jail, he wrote his story in an autobiography, The Sixteenth Round. They made a movie about it, and in the movie he states,  "When I started writing, I discovered that I was doing more than just telling the story. See, writing is a weapon. It is more powerful than a fist can ever be."

I'm telling you this now because words hurt. The things you say about people can leave scars. And scars don't go away. I know there is alot of things out there that are not true. However if repeated enough, it can convince people of a false truth. Something they believe in and pass onto others.

This is something that will never go away. We hear and see it everyday and we don't do anything about it. Instead, we participate even if we don't want to.

I am disappointed with the path people take, and the paths we choose. We always strive for something better but fall off the road somewhere. Life doesn't have to be complicated unless we make it to be. There doesn't have to be secrets if we are just open and honest. That is all I ever ask of anyone I know. It is all I ever try to be.

Jill bought me a book while we were down in Kansas City. I looked in my mailbox yesterday to find "Friends No Matter What, So Glad We Stick Together." I remembered seeing it at the convention and it brought a smile to my face. One of my favorite poets, Robert Frost, was quoted in this book...

"We make ourselves a place apart
Behind light words that tease and flout,
But oh, the agitated heart
Till someone really find us out.

'Tis pity if the case require
(Or so we say) that in the end
We speak the literal to inspire
The understanding of a friend."

This poem... is deep. I've read it countless times and came up with something different every time. Words are beautiful and can mean so many different things to different people. So this is how I read this poem, because I think it is important.

We as people put on a grand show. We make jokes and make fun, keeping our feelings tucked away. Even if we tease and make light of someone, we truly care about them. Then some day, someone sees how much we care... almost like we are transparent and everything is stripped away. They see how much we care about that person. Some people understand the true value of that friendship, and others don't. And it is "pitiful" if we have to explain the concept of a friend. So we must be forward and out-spoken, to "inspire The understanding of a friend." To inspire.

This has been a hard week. I've been accused of an affair. I've learned my grandma only has months to live. And I've just been trying to stay focused in school. However, it is all falling down... It has been so hard to keep strong. The week is over now, and I'm looking for warm sunrises. I'm going to leave you with lyrics from a band called Switchfoot. I suggest reading through them, they read very much like a poem. I recommend you take them seriously.

Switchfoot - The Blues

Is this the new year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit and miss?
I miss direction most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
For broken hearts and broken noses in the back
Is this the new year or just another desperation?

You push until you're shoving
You bend until you break
Do you stand on the broken fields where your fathers lay
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in

Is there nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?
It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been throwing down this broken house of cards?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who haven't kissed the enemy?
Is this the new year or just another desperation?

Does justice ever find you, do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?
And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in
Until the world caves in.

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