Cold

A ripple for every moment

Frigid sky scattered here and there. Shadows watch mountains who are not easily scared. Snowflakes fall as time stands still, while sun's warmth trembles under the treacherous chill. Depths run thin as the ice grows, and blue meets white in the blue shallow. Everything covered perfectly in a blanket, one that is cold and doesn't need to fake it.

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• Grandma
• Hospital
• Grandpa
• Love
• Phone Calls
• Genesis
• Prayer

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When some of us are weak, the other ones have to stay strong. And all I have to say is, that it is hard.

As few of you know, my grandma went into the hospital. I was making light of the situation in the last post, just so it would not attract too much attention. But now, now things are rather serious. They found that the reason for her yellow discoloration was due to a bile duct obstruction. They had to perform surgery today. They put a stent into her bile duct which is keeping it open. They do not know the exact cause, but suggested causes were gall stones or even a tumor (cancer). The surgery went beautifully and they did everything they needed to do. All we have to do now is stay patient and wait for further results.

During all this, I had to take care of my grandpa. He was so tired at the hospital earlier today that he was almost falling over. My dad took him out to eat and then took him home. I was advised to go over there and make sure he got rest. If any of you know my grandpa, he never rests. He was up and about the whole time I was over there. He had me call almost everyone in their address book. I ate some lunch and thankfully he drank some milk shake (he needed to eat/drink something). A couple hours later he couldn't bear it any longer. He started begging me to take him back. He needed rest (which he didn't have at all) before he was going anywhere.

There is nothing in the world more difficult than keeping someone away from the person they love more than the world. I had to tell him he couldn't see grandma and it was ripping me apart inside. He said he would drive himself. He went outside without me and I got worried. I somehow managed to get him back inside. I needed to keep strong. As much as it hurt, I told him he couldn't go. I told him he needed to eat the sandwich I made for him and that he needed to rest, that he needed to be strong for her and she would do the same for him. It is so hard to see someone you love so much, so weak. His weakest moment and I couldn't help him. I felt like I was making it worse. I knew it was for his own good, but I just couldn't stay strong enough. Reinforcements came and I left. I left.

I only called one person all day on my own accord. It was the only person I needed to talk to. It was the first time I couldn't hold my strength. I just needed someone to talk to. Thank you for being there for me.

I feel bad. I went to Genesis this morning. A girl, who I scarcely know, noticed my distress. She offered to pray for something I needed and I told her I would be fine. I knew right when I said it that I wasn't. I don't know why I did that. Maybe because I thought I was strong enough. But the course of the day went gradually downhill and news of the condition worsened. Everyone needs prayers, whether they like to admit it. So I'm asking all of you now... to pray for my grandma, my grandpa, and the rest of my family as we work our way through it. Thank you so much for being there, even if your words cannot be heard. I love you all.

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